I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
