It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
