bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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