Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
