Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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