I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize