You really coming over, don't trick.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
