Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
