You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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