he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
