im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The adults are the big ones right?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
