how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
