She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
