it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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