god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
