Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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