I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
