There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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