wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize