I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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