If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
