I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
