Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
two words: eviction party
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
