Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize