hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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