it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
