I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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