a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize