Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize