apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize