Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
