I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
