He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize