lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
