something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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