last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
