I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
