Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he puts the penis in happiness.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
