we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
