I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
