So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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