We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
