Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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