i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
