just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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