Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
no, he came in my armpit
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
