Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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