I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize