It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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