I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize