Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
honey bunches of taint.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
