this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
