Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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