I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You can't just leave with hair like that
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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