if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
