He felt like a one man threesome
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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