My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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