Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Panties = found
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
