ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They took my balls.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
