Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You ate ashes out of my bong
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
