that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
